


Love is another word

by Teenwolf_fanfiction



Category: Stydia - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fiction, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Love, Stydia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:01:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6684814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teenwolf_fanfiction/pseuds/Teenwolf_fanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia Martin has had enough and just wants to leave. The only person who is stopping her is Stiles.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I posted this on Wattpad and I decided to upload it on here hope you like it. :)

**LYDIA POV.**

So here I am in chemistry, just looking at a bunch of stupid jumbled words and numbers. I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I can feel my heart pounding against my chest getting faster and faster by the second. It's not the feeling that someone is going to die, no it's that feeling that jealous feeling every teenager witnesses many times in their life. It's the feeling when the boy you long for is turned their heart over to someone else. That girl he now spends all his time time with, the girl he now shares all his secrets and worries with. That girl Malia who I wished could just be me. You may ask who this boy is, this stupid boy is Stiles Stilinski. Even the thought of his name in my head made my heart skip a beat. I then found myself in a gaze thinking about all those little moments me and Stiles had together which at the time I took for granted when suddenly my phone buzzed. It was Scott, I forgot that he could smell all my emotions he's probably thinking it had something to do with the supernatural which it normally is.

 **Hey, are you okay?** He had that concerned look on his face that he always had when he knew something was wrong.

 **Yep, why'd you ask?** I replied already knowing the answer.

I knew Scott could see straight through me, he started typing but just before he managed to press send the bell rang. I quickly scattered to the door hiding in amongst my classmates so Scott couldn't get me. I then made a break to my car making sure I wasn't being followed. As soon as I got to the car I quickly buckled myself in before taking a huge breath. I couldn't quite manage to get myself to turn the key and instead I just fell with my head in my hands on the steering wheel. I couldn't hold it in anymore and slowly tears began to fall from my eyes. I was just minding my own business when I had the shock of my life when I saw the a finger tap my car door.

"Lydia?" A soft voice said to me which made my heart start to pace faster again.

"Oh hey... St-iles". I replied not knowing why I Stuttered his name.

"Lyds, what's happened?" He said with a worried look on his face.

After a few moments I finally managed to find my words "Nothing, can you please go I'm a mess." I said not really wanting him to leave.

"Listen to me I am not leaving until you tell me what the hell has been going on with you." He replied almost instantly as if he had known I was going to say that.

Before I had the chance to say anything he spoke again, "Lyds, you know you can tell me anything, your one of my best friends. Come on please...just tell me." He said pleading for me to tell.

"Stiles...I....just feel like the whole group is excluding me from everything, it's like I'm there but I'm not. Nobody talks to me, everyone's just talking in their pairs. Like there's Scott and Kira, Liam and Hayden, Cory and Mason and then theres you and Malia. I feel like since Allison died I have nobody there for me anymore. I feel like I'm not wanted anymore, nobody cares and I just want to leave." I say with tears coming all the way down my face now. It wasn't the real reason I was crying but I didn't realise how much it actually bothered me until I said it out loud.

Stiles takes a few moment to come to a realisation of what she just said until finally replying, "Lydia...I'm so sorry I had no idea, you should have told me. Listen to me, I care about you so much and you are never going to loose me...okay?" He said tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

"Stiles I know but....I just can't stay here anymore.. Okay. My dads coming to pick me up tomorrow and I'm going to stay with him for a bit." I said sobbing loudly.

"No..you can't just leave, I won't let you! " he shouts, before pulling me out the car and pulling me into a deep hug. I put my hand around his neck and pulled him closer. I rested my head on his shoulder sobbing into him. After a few minutes I finally found enough strength to push myself up.

"Stiles I need you to do something for me. I'm not coming to school tomorrow since I need to pack so I need to to tell the others." I said trying to give him a smile.

Stiles' face looked like he just saw how he was going to die. "No, you can tell them yourself when we come over tomorrow to say goodbye." He says with tears continuing to roll down his cheeks, I wipe one away with my thumb giving him a smile.

"Stiles, I'll be gone before you get there so this is.....goodbye." I bit my lip trying to numb myself to make the pain go away.

"You mean this is the last time tha-." Stiles stops he can't seem to find his words, he suddenly falls to the ground. I get on my knees and cup his face with my hands. I stay quiet for a few moments, looking into his deep chocolate eyes.

"Goodbye Stiles." I say trying keeping my emotions off so he won't be able to make me stay.

I get of my knees leaving Stiles on the floor telling myself that he was going to be okay because he had Scott and all the others, and I knew that they would comfort him in every way they knew possible. I open my car door giving one final glance at Stiles before continuing to get in the car.

"Lydia" I turned and looked at him, "you still look very beautiful when you cry." He said with a comforting smile. I didn't say anything, I just smiled.

"Oh, and you know I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you back." He says getting back up to his feet in confidence.

I laugh, "yeah, I had a feeling." I replied before driving off leaving a very vulnerable Stiles in the parking lot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued...

THIS CHAPTER IS SET 2 WEEKS AFTER LYDIA LEAVES BEACON HILLS, HOPE YOU LIKE IT :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**LYDIA POV.**

I know it's only been a couple of weeks but it already feels like I've been away from him for an eternity. I thought being apart from him would give me closure to my feeling but it's just making me feel worse not being near him. Not being able to get lost in his dark brown eyes everyday makes me feel horrible. I should've just been honest with him and told him how I feel, but it's too late for all that now. I know Stiles said he was going to do whatever it takes to get me back but I don't think anything he says or does will change my mind, nothing but those 3 little words. I don't want to be his friend, I want to be more. I don't think it's ever going to happen though, I've been ignoring the packs calls and messages. All of them anyway apart from Stiles', he hasn't called or texted me. I know it's going to be hard but if I keep myself together and just keep ignoring them, they will eventually stop bothering me.

At least I thought so until I heard a knock at the door....

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The doorbell must of went about 3 times by now, but I couldn't quite get myself to answer the door. I knew my dad wasn't going to get it since he was an ass and wouldn't move for nobody.

"Lydia!" He shouted. "Get the darn door."

I found myself at the door slowly reaching out for the handle before finally opening it. It was total relief when it turned out to be a (kind of) friend from school (a guy by the way, who wasn't to bad looking). He was a bit cocky though, thinking he had control of me only after starting my new school for a week. I was Lydia Martin, nobody had control over me. Not even my own mother.

After finally getting my senses together I gave him my best fake smile. "Hey Josh, what cha doing here." I said.

He looked at me with his glowing white teeth and baby blue eyes and said "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee of something?"

Part of me just wanted to say no and just slam the door in his face but the over half wanted to go out and make new friends, or at least eventually start a normal life for myself.

"Yeah sure, why not but can we get smoothies or something I've never been a fan of coffee" I said while shrugging my shoulders.

"Great, lets go." He said with that perfect smile.

The ride into town was great, Josh talks a lot so them awkward silences you normally get never happened, In fact I barely got two words in cause he talked so much. I quickly learned that Josh was very self centred, he only wanted to talk about himself. Stiles was never like that, he didn't think about himself, only about other people. That's what I liked about Stiles even though I thought that he should maybe look out for himself sometimes.

We finally arrived, I think this is going to be awkward because Josh practically told me his whole life during the car journey. I didn't even want to talk to him even more, I just wanted Stiles.

"So..do you want to get something to eat or do you just want to get a drink?" He said. It was the first time he had asked me something since leaving my house.

"Just a drink please, I'm not really that hungry." I replied trying to act sweet.

He nodded and we entered some expensive looking place, I really would of just liked to go to Starbucks or something but whatever. This was going to be a long drink.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been two hours since I left the house and oh boy it was the longest two hours of my life. Apparently Josh thought he hadn't told me enough about himself in the car and he just went on about himself for the whole time. I escaped by saying I wasn't feeling to good so he gave me a lift home.

We pulled up into my drive, thank god for that I thought that ride was never going to end. I was just about to get out when-

"I had a great time tonight, maybe could do it again" he said with a huge grin on his face. Before I had the chance to answer he suddenly pulled me into a hard kiss, I kissed him back until pulling away when he tried to deepen it.

"I'm sorry, do you have a boyfriend?" He said with an apologetic look, breathing heavily. 'No you idiot, I wouldn't of kissed you back at all' I silently say to myself not wanting to cause a scene.

"No" I replied. "It's just that.....I don't think I'm ready at the moment. It's kinda the whole reason I moved up here." I gave him a smile as I spoke.

He smiled back immediately understanding what I meant and saying "yeah I totally understand, just tell me when your ready and I promise you, I'll be waiting".

I laughed remembering that certain someone who told me we would wait for me before replying "Don't make promises you won't keep".

"I only make promises I know I can keep but this isn't about me, is it?" He argued back.

I didn't answer him, instead I gave him a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight. I then made my way up to my door with a grin on my face which I hadn't had in a while. I thought that this could finally be closure and maybe I can move on with my life. Stiles Stiliski was in my head no more....or so I thought so.

**One hour later**

I was just laying on my bed listening to music while thinking about what happened today when my phone buzzed. It was a text from him, that one person I had been dreading over that last two weeks to get in contact with me.

It was Stiles....


	3. Chapter 3

**LYDIA POV.**

I pressed my phone to open the text message, closing my eyes as it loaded. My thoughts were going crazy right now. Thinking that he's had two weeks to get in contact with me and he chooses now, why now? I was starting to feel closure, how could he do this to me? The message opened.

**-Hey, what's going on with you? You have been ignoring everyone, is everything okay?**

I suddenly felt a shift of anger as I read. Who does he think he is saying I've been ignoring them, I just need time to move on and it's not like he tried to get in contact with me anyways.

 **-Yeah everything's fine, I just needed some time to move on.** I texted back trying not to let my anger get the best of me. I didn't want to argue with Stiles, I kind of just wanted him to leave me alone.

He texted back instantly.

 **-Have you made any new friends yet? How are things going?** My anger may of just wanted to make Stiles a bit jealous then, should I tell him about Josh?

 **-Things are going great, I met this guy called Josh. We went on like a date and got some drinks.** I know I shouldn't of said that but for some reason I feel anger towards him at the moment.

 **-Are you guys like a thing now?** He replied after a good five minutes. I felt bad now but he needed to know how it felt.

 **-No, he kissed me but I pulled away.** I texted back not telling him that I kissed him back, but I did pull back eventually...so it was kinda true.

 **-Oh, so when can we all come and see you?** He said moving on to another subject which I also didn't want to talk about.

 **-Not yet, I'm still trying to settle down if you know what I mean.** My heart was pounding as I sent the message.

 **-Yeh I totally understand, just tell me when you're ready.** He replied quickly.

Instead of replying I just went to sleep because in truth I didn't know if I'll ever be ready.

_____

I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, I couldn't stop thinking about my conversation with Stiles.

"Lydia, get up you'll be late for school!" My dad called.

"I'll be down in a minute!" I shouted back.

I quickly got dressed then made my way down stairs, giving my dad a kiss on the cheek before heading out. I then made my way to my car and made the short journey to school.

When I got there I noticed Josh standing at the front of the school with a couple of his friends. I walked up to him giving him a shy smile and saying 'hey'. He had a huge grin on his face and introduced me to his friends. At this moment I had a feeling like I was actually starting to fit in.

I then followed Josh and the others into the school and hung out with them for the whole day. Even though I wasn't in all of Josh's classes, one of Josh's friends were so I had someone for every period of the day. It felt so good to be noticed again, in fact I had totally forgot about the whole thing with Stiles.

It was now about four or something, school had just finished and I was coming out of school laughing for once. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, Josh made me feel like I meant something again. I was off in my own world when I felt Josh grab my hand. I didn't pull it away or anything, in fact I grabbed his hand back and he smiled at me.

We came out the doors of the school still holding hands when I suddenly pulled it away. My mouth fell open when I saw tall figured man standing in front of me. I couldn't move or say anything.

"Hey are you okay?" Josh said in a worried voice. I didn't reply still not being able to say anything.

Finally after a few seconds I managed to mumble a word out. "Stiles?"

"Hey" He said giving me a smile with an upset look on his face.

"What are you doing here? I told you not to come." A tone of anger came out me as I spoke.

"I know but I had to see you, everyone misses you." He spoke with a calming voice.

I looked at Josh who had a very confused look on is face. I hadn't told him really anything about my past yet but I think he got the just that was something going on between Stiles and I, well I think there is.

"I'll leave you two to catch up, I'll call you later." Josh said with a warming smile on his face while walking away. I gave him a nod and looked and focused on Stiles again.

After a few moments Stiles finally spoke. "It's seems like your fitting in here okay" he paused, his face was set in a straight line, no softness in his eyes like there normally is, just..nothing. "Oh and I thought you guys were just friends?" I could see Stiles' anger building up as he spoke.

"We are, are friends not aloud to hold hands? We did." I responded with no emotion on my face. Or try to, I'm pretty sure I look constipated right now.

"Yeah but we were different, you've only known that guy for like 2 weeks." He replied using a lot of hand gestures while he spoke.

"Well sorry!" I said sarcastically.

He huffed at me before moving on. "Why have you been ignoring everyones calls and texts?"

"I haven't, I replied to you." I said instantly.

Stiles rolled his eyes then put his hand up in the air. "Lydia, how the hell am I supposed to help you of you wont tell me what's wrong?"

'Because I'm in love with you', I said to myself as I slowly built up with rage. "You want to know why Stiles because ever since I met you, my life has been messed up!" Tears suddenly started falling from my eyes.

"Lydia.." Stiles spoke but I cut him off. "Oh and you know what's also wrong me I'm bloody in l....." I suddenly stopped as I realised what I was about to say to him.

Stiles was looking at me like a lost puppy. "Stiles..I'm s...." I started but he suddenly cut me off by pulling into a deep embrace making sure I couldn't leave him this time.

_Not like I was planning to anyway..._


	4. Chapter 4

**LYDIA POV.**

It's been two days since my last encounter with Stiles and I can still feel his fingers wrapped around my waist. He wouldn't let me go until I promised to come back to Beacon Hills. After about 5 minutes of protesting, Stiles finally gave in and said I only had to come up for the night. I was going to put up a fight until I looked around and saw everyone looking at us. I started to blush like crazy when I saw Josh staring wide eyed at me in the corner of my eye.

 

Anyways, well guess what? Its bloody Friday now and I'm on my way to Beacon Hills, trying to think of any excuse to get out of this. At least I wasn't on my own, Josh offered to come with me after seeing what a mess I was in after leaving Stiles. By mess, I mean if you searched up a picture of a tomato on Google it would come up with me. I wasn't going to say yes but the thought of seeing Malia and Stiles flirting on my own made sickness run through my veins.

 

"So...how are you feeling?" Josh mumbled dragging out the word so. It had been the first thing he said after setting off which was strange. Was he nervous?

 

"I'm.." I paused "I'm honestly trying to think of any excuse to turn this car round right now." I said laughing a bit as I spoke.

 

Josh chuckled before saying "Don't worry you'll be fine and remember I'll be right by your side the whole time." He then moved his hand and intertwined his fingers with mine next to the gear stick.

 

I mutter a small thank you before tightening the grip on his hand. It was safe to say, I'm shitting myself.

 

A huge grin suddenly came across Josh's face, I was a tiny bit concerned of what he was thinking of.

 

"Hey Lydia, what has a 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk?"

 

"What?" I said glaring at him intently.

 

He smirked before saying "My zipper!"

 

"JOSH!" I exclaimed, I couldn't help but laugh though. To be honest I really needed that but he could of thought of something less disgusting.

 

"Come on, your turn, tell me a joke." He said still laughing.

 

"Okay" I paused for a moment thinking of what to say, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

 

"I have no idea, why did the chicken cross the road?" Josh replied sarcastically. He didn't think I was going to say to get to the other side, did he?

 

"To get to the bitches house, knock knock." I said while smiling.

 

"Who's there?"

 

"The chicken" Okay maybe it wasn't the best joke but I'm bloody laughing my ass off.

_____

We have finally arrived at Stiles' house, the drive wasn't that bad, me and Josh exchanged a variety of crap jokes which actually took my mind off of things. I slowly walked up Stiles' driveway with Josh by my side, I hadn't even noticed that I was holding his hand. What if Stiles saw us? We finally reach the door and I knock cautiously hoping they wouldn't hear it.

 

The door suddenly swung open to Kira bringing me in her arms. "I've missed you so much!!" She says holding me tighter as she speaks.

 

"I've only been gone a couple of weeks." I squeak hardly being able to breathe.

 

"Why haven't you been answering my calls." She said giving me that 'I hate you face'.

 

"I'm sorry but I needed to settle down and calling you guys wouldn't of helped, I'm sorry Kira." I said giving her the puppy dog eyes.

 

"Don't you dare give me the puppy dog eyes, Scott gives me then enough as it is. Much more on a full mo." I coughed interrupting Kira before she could finish that last word. Kira looked at me confused before her eyes turned to face the person beside me.

 

"Kira this is Josh, Josh this is Kira." I said clapping my hands together.

 

"Hi, it's very nice to meet you Josh, how are you?" Kira said with a mischievous look on her face. Oh god what is she thinking?

 

"I good thanks" Josh replied smiling.

 

Kira gaze suddenly snapped to my hand, were it was still intertwined with Josh's. I'm never going to hear the end of this. Before I could let anymore worries enter my head, Kira gestured for us to enter.

 

Where's Stiles?

 

"He upstairs with Malia." Kira said while falling down on the armchair of the couch. Did I just say that out loud, shit.

 

"Who else is in?" I said trying to sound as if I didn't give a care in the world.

 

"Emm, me, Scott, Stiles, the sheriff, Melissa and Malia, I should probably call them down. I don't think they heard you come in." She replied.

 

She then opened her mouth to shout but I stopped her by putting my hand over her mouth.

 

"I'll go up myself, I'll be down in two secs Josh" I said while taking my hand off Kira's mouth.

 

"What the hell is a 'Stiles'?" Josh asked with a confused look on his face.

 

I laugh at the sudden memory before replying, "I'll be down in a minute, okay?"

 

He nods in reply as I make my way to the stairs.

 

I climbed the stairway heading straight for Stiles' room, I knew were I was going with my eyes closed.

 

As I approached the door I started to feel my stomach turning upside down, I can hear whispering through the door. They're probably talking about something supernatural and I kinda wanted to hear what was going on while I was gone. Without even thinking I found myself moving closer to the door so I could hear exactly what the whispers were saying.

 

"What time is Lydia supposed to get hear?" Scott said.

 

"She should be here now but she probably got held up in traffic or something." Stiles replied.

 

I could imagine Malia rolling her eyes round about now, let's just say Malia and I don't really like each other. Obviously we're civil to each other but I don't really know her like the others.

 

"Or maybe she's not coming!" Malia said in an annoyed tone.

 

I felt like this was my time to enter and wipe that sweet smug look off Malia's face.

 

I turned the handle slowly pushing the door open, I put on my best fake smile thinking the quicker I got this over with, the quicker I can leave.

 

"Hey guys" I said in the most annoying voice I could, oh yeah they could tell I was pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry I've took so long to upload I had a bit of writers block. New chapter should be up soon. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**LYDIA POV.**

 

"Lydia!" Stiles exclaims in a shocked voice.

 

"Yep, that's my name" I replied while laughing at his shocked tone.

 

"You were supposed to be her half an hour ago!" Malia spoke in a rather rude tone, geez she has no idea how bad the traffic was trying to get here, calm down woman.

 

"Yeah sorry the traffic was awful, so I decided to take a longer route which was just as bad." I replied has kindly as I could to Malia. Keep calm Lydia, keep calm.

 

"It's alright, I thought you weren't coming" Stiles said in a sad voice, he was looking right into my eyes like he could see right into my soul. Damn...he is scaring be a bit and trust me I never get scared that easily.

 

Trying to move on with the conversation, I decided that I should probably tell them about Josh. "Oh em..I hope you don't mind but I brought a friend with me, if that's alright?" I said with a sheepish smile on my face.

 

Scott looked at me with a confused look like I had just spoke a complete different language to him. "Oh, Stiles told us that you were coming back for good."

 

What? Why would Stiles say that, I clearly told him that I was just coming up for the night. I make a mental note now that I need to have a private talk with Stiles before I leaves. "No, I said I was coming up for the night. I'm sorry but I don't think I can-" I spoke but I got cut off by Malia.

 

"Lydia it's fine, take as long as you need" She spoke trying to act friendly but I could see the smug look on her face.

 

 _BITCH_ , The only reason I'm staying away is for the benefit of her and Stiles.

 

"So.. Who's this friend you brought?" Scott asked changing the subject obviously noticing the tension in the room.

 

"His names Josh, Stiles has actually met him before" I reply to Scott but at the corner of my eye I swear I see Stiles scoff. What's wrong with him? Is he jealous? He couldn't be...could he?

 

We all began to depart the room but before I could leave I feel a strong hand grab my arm and push me back into their chest. I look up with a scowl on my face ready to give them a piece of my mind but I find myself suddenly getting flustered. He, Stiles is looking at me with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes again. The thing is there's something different about them which I can't yet put my finger on, there's a sort of sadness in them. Part of me just wants to hold him as close as possible to me and the other part just wants to stand here forever and look at him. The way he is looking at me right now makes my knees feel weak and I can't even maintain myself to compose a simple word. I need to control myself, Get yourself together Lydia. This is Stiles, he is your friend, only your friend.

 

But what if I want him to be more than a friend...

 

I'm guessing he must of seen my loss or words which happens rarely I must add, because the corners of his lips turn up into a smirk. This whole time I just stand there and look at his beautiful figure.

 

What the hell is happening to me?

 

"You know, you should take a picture it would last longer" He sates with the smirk still on his face. Oh so now he chooses to be a cocky jerk. Well two can play that game.

 

"I would but I heard flash photography hurts animals" I reply. His smirk turns into a scowl in a heartbeat and he lets go off my arm he was holding. Damn...he must of been holding it tight there's a mark from were he just let go.

 

I sigh deciding to get this conversation out of the way, "Stiles, what do u want?"

 

".....Are you okay?" He asks finally, his eyes boring into mine again.

 

"Yeah" I breathe breathlessly. I guess it's true, the right person really does take your breath away. Wow...did I really just say that?. "Why wouldn't I be?" I finally ask.

 

"It's just.....it's just I don't know you seem different" He says pausing at first like he was trying to find the right words.

 

"Different? What do you mean by that?" I ask.

 

"Nothing" Stiles snaps quickly before looking guilty, "I mean you seem different, you disconnected with the group and then when I try and come to you, you push me away." He says with a now saddened expression. If I can describe the way I'm feeling right now, it would be guilty. I never realised how I would be affecting Stiles with all this new  feelings I'm getting, or anyone else for that matter. Maybe they weren't the ones leaving me out, maybe I was the one pushing them away.

 

I take a deep breath before finally speaking "Stiles I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to push you away. It's just...I don't know I've been feeling a little weird lately, I guess?" The last part comes out as more of a question than a statement though.

 

Stiles' eyes suddenly widen with panic "Lyds, a-are y-you pregnant?" He stutters. If I could describe my face right now it would probably be something like the face a baby makes when you play peek-a-boo.

 

When I regain the sense to move again from my sudden paralysis I smack Stiles in the chest. "NO! Oh my god Stiles, I think I would know if I was pregnant and I would of definitely of told you by now if I was!"

 

A look of relief is suddenly shown on his face followed by his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "Sorry but come on you would of thought the same if it was the other way round?" He said trying to reason with me.

 

I giggle at his use of words before speaking, "Oh yeah cause I totally would've thought you were pregnant; I'm sorry to break it to you Stiles but you kind of have to....you know be a female to be pregnant."

 

He scratches the back of his neck, a thing I notice he does when he gets nervous or agitated. He then looks up at me with a sheepish smile on his face, he looks so cute I'm literally having to clutch my fists to restrict myself from pinching his still pink cheeks. He looks _A-DORA-BLE._

 

"....My bad" he finally speaks setting his gaze upon anything in the room but me.

 

I sigh before retreating to the door but stopping in my footsteps before setting my gaze upon Stiles again, "Hey you coming to meet my new friend or are you gonna stand there until someone figures out how to make a man pregnant?" I say with a smirk.

 

"Don't mock me Lyds it will become possible....one day" he breathes "one day everything will be possible." he says before leaving me there contemplating over his final words.

 

_One day everything will be possible...._

 

With that thought in my head I slowly begin to make my way downstairs, this was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the slow updates  
> Hope you enjoy :)


	6. Chapter 6

**LYDIA POV.**

As I reach the bottom of the stairs I can't help but feel extremely nervous, why should I though? It's not like Stiles knows.

"Hey Lydia, can you help me grab a few snacks from the kitchen?" Scott asks me as I reach the door.

"Sure"

As I make my way to the kitchen, I know Scott is going to pester me about leaving and to be completely honest with you, I really can't be assed with all this at the moment.

"So.." Scott says awkwardly rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet. I guess I need to get this over and done with.

"What Scott? There is nothing going on okay, I left cause this was all just..getting too much, everything..just everything seems to be different since Eichen. I feel like everyone is treating me like a baby, walking on egg shells with me. We have all been through shit Scott, so don't treat me different because I'm not some weakling that is going to break every time something goes wrong. I'm just trying to move on and get on with my life, is that wrong?" I say, my voice breaking at the end as I try to contain my tears.

Scott sighs running a hand through his hair before speaking, "No, of course there's nothing wrong with trying to move on Lydia but..." He pauses.

"But what?" I ask impatiently.

"But not if you're doing it for the wrong reasons" He sighs again.

"What do you mean?" I ask, but I have a feeling I already know what he's going to say.

"Stiles."

I break, I feel a fresh hot tear run down my cheek but I don't bother wiping it, "Stiles..moved on long before I did, trust me I know."

"Lydia" he sighs, he seems to be doing that a lot in this conversation. "trust me, he hasn't moved on, you haven't seen what he has been like these last few weeks. He's absolutely reeked of anxiety." He says forcing a laugh at the end.

"And oh my god, you should of seen how happy he was when you agreed to come back..even if it was just for the day." He continues, a small smile present on his face.

"Really?" I ask, as fresh tears still continue to run down my face.

"Yeah"

"Well, We've become really close in the last few years, really good..friends" I speak forcing a smile.

"You know you could change that if you wanted to" Scott remarks wiping my tears gently away from under my eyes.

"Stiles has M-" I start to speak but get cut off.

"Stiles has what?" Stiles asks raising a brow with a smirk on his face.

Scott opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "Oh, Scott was just saying that he skipped lunch, so I was just saying that you had" I pause looking around before spotting my way out of this. "Mac and Cheese in the microwave, what are you doing in here anyways?" I say trying to distract him.

He chuckles "I live here if you don't remember and you guys have been in here for like 15 minutes so hurry up and Scott.." He pauses, "don't eat my Mac and Cheese you dog" He laughs pointing a finger at Scott before turning to face me, his playful smile turns to a frown.

"What's wrong? Have you been crying?" He's asks taking a step forward and putting both of his hands on my face.

I smile weakly and force a laugh, "Yeah I'm fine, Scott was just telling me something about one of the dogs at the clinic. You know me, I'm easily broken." I say letting out a short laugh, my last sentence meaning more than I let out.

Stiles gently rubs my face, it's feels much better than when Scott did it, I find myself leaning into his palm.

"Hmm" He sighs.

"Hmm what?" I ask curiously silently wondering if I had something on my face. _Do I?_

"Still beautiful when you cry" he replies softy, a gentle smile on his face. 

I open my mouth to reply with something sarcastic like 'Oh Stilinski, you're such a flirt'. It's normally what I do if I ever get the urge to just close the _so close_ gap between us, which by the way I'll tell you now, happens a lot.  -But get cut off by the one and only, Malia. What is with people cutting each other off today? Let someone finish their bloody sentence..

"What the hell is taking you guys so long? There are only 6 of us, we're not feeding the bloody Russian army!" She shouts, and as much as she frustrates me I can't help but laugh at her comment.

  
Stiles obviously finds her outburst just as amusing as I do because I'm sure I hear him let out a small, stifled chuckle. "Calm down babe, don't worry we'll get your food" He says as he approaches her and leads her through to the other room. I get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach when he calls her babe, I know I have no right to be jealous but I am, I cant help it...

  
I hear Scott let out  _another_ sigh, "Come on Lyds, better hurry up before she takes out the claws" he says chucking a little.

  
"Yeah, I don't want her to go all coyote-bitch on me" I 'jokingly' say trying to ease the tension in the room. I can't help but think what I actually would've admitted to Scott if Stiles hadn't of interrupted, I wasn't even thinking of who could've even heard us. I guess being out of town for a few weeks has affected my memory that there are supernatural creatures literally just in the other room who would've most likely heard our conversation.

Just as I'm about to go into overthinking drive, Scott speaks obviously hearing my sudden increase in heartbeat, "Don't worry they didn't hear our conversation, I blocked them out." Sudden relief washes over me at his words and I feel my heartbeat begin to slow back to its normal rate. 

Just as I'm about to go into the other room Scott speaks again, "But-Lydia, you need to tell him before he finds out from someone else" I can feel my heart ponding through my chest _again_  at his words, 'Oh for the love of God Scott, shut up' I say to myself as I find myself unable to speak at this moment in time.

Finally after mustering up one huge breath I speak, but my words come out rushed and not as affective as I want them to;

"I already said, _He has Malia"_  

"And I already said, you could change that if you wanted to" He says slowly before going through to the other room.

How could I possible change that? There is really only one way and that is to actually tell Stiles how I feel but I know I cant do that. What if he doesn't feel the same way and we end up losing our friendship? Or what if he chooses Malia? I don't think I would be able to bring myself to ever be around him again, it would be a friendship lost for no good reason. But what if he chose me?

What if....

At the end of the day they are just 'what ifs' and part of me wants to keep it that way but the other part can't help but think what it would be like if it wasn't just a 'what if'.

I am taken out of my thoughts when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, it's a message from... _oh god_   _._

**Hello Lydia, I know I'm probably the last person you've ever expected to hear from again but I need your help. You know I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't that serious but we believe you're the only person who can help us. There's a new supernatural creature on the loose and lets just say, it's hungry..**

**It would mean a lot to my pack and I if you could help, if you cant I completely understand but there are a lot of lives on the line, maybe even yours.**

**Please meet us tonight at the lacrosse field if you can help. Thanks again,**

**-J**

**P.S: Please don't tell anyone *cough* Stiles what's going on, our pack can handle this ourselves.**

As I read the text, possible scenarios of what could be happening fly though my head. I have to go tonight people lives are at risk, I can't be selfish and leave just because I'm having some issues with my 'feelings'. I guess this means I'm staying until further notice.. _God dammit_

**Be there at 8 sharp and tell me everything that's going on or I'm out.**

**-Lydia**

He replies almost instantly;

**Of course princess, non the less.**

**See you tonight.**

- **J**

I cringe at the word use of 'princess', it so unlike his nature you know to... actually be nice. _Weird_ .  With that thought in mind I grab a soda from the fridge and follow through to the other room, I had a feeling shit was about to go down tonight.

_Wish me luck..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I'm a really bad at updating but I'm going to try and update more frequently. Hope you liked the chapter :) x


	7. Chapter 7

**Lydia's POV.**

 

It has now been an hour since Josh and I got here and at the moment everything seems to be running smoothly. I'll admit it was a bit awkward at first with Josh and Stiles but other than that it's been good.

 

"So Lydia" Malia speaks, "How much longer do you think you'll be away for?"

 

You know, if it wasn't for Malia being Stiles' girlfriend and all, I think we would've actually been quite good friends because she's a very forward person just like myself. On the other hand though, I think it's good we're not that close as I'm afraid between the both of us....we could cause WW3.

 

"Actually I'm meeting an old acquaintance tonight so I am going to be in town for a few more days. After that though I'm going to go back to my dad's." I reply being careful with my word choice by using the word 'acquaintance' instead of 'friend'.

 

"Oh really who?" Stiles asks being the nosey little bam he is.

 

"Nobody that concerns your matters" I reply sternly, my voice coming out firm and strong.

 

He told me to not tell anybody, especially Stiles where I am going, so I won't. I want to show the others that I can be strong like them and not need to rely on anyone if the slightest thing goes wrong. I'm stronger now.

 

Stiles opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute."

 

Stiles gives me that look that says _'I know you're up to something and I'm going to find out what'._

 

I quickly walk through to the other room going in the total opposite direction of the bathroom. I now find myself in the small room which I'm guessing is the Sheriff's office because the room is practically empty apart from a desk and computer. Pieces of paper are scattered all over the room like someone had thrown them around in a frantic state. The only thought that came to mind was that it must of been the sheriff in a hurry trying to look for something.

 

I left out a soft sigh and begin to pick up the scattered papers around the small room. It is when I am about half way through I hear someone clear their throat behind me. _Of course he would follow me._

 

"Stiles do you have to follow me everywhere?"

 

"Clearly yes because this certainly isn't the toilet"

 

I roll my eyes at his sarcastic remark before quickly gathering up the rest of the papers and placing them in a neat pile on the desk.

 

"I was just-"

 

"You were just what Lydia?" Stiles replies clearly irritated.

 

I don't respond because I know whatever lame excuse I pull, I know Stiles will see straight through me. It's just some sort of connection we have.

 

Stiles inpatient as he normally is takes a small step towards me looking me straight in the eyes before looking down at the papers on the desk that I had laid down.

 

"What's happened?" He finally asks, his gaze still locked on the neat pile.

 

"What do you m-?"

 

"Bullshit Lydia! You know exactly what I mean" He calls me out, he is now glaring down at me. The papers are now scattered all over the floor..again. I take a step back in fear, this isn't....

 

This isn't _my Stiles...._

 

Stiles eyes suddenly soften and he takes a step back, his expression broken.

 

** Stiles' POV. **

 

The way she's looking at me right now makes me want to pull her a close to me as possible.

 

She's scared of me.

 

"Lydia I didn't mean to sca-" I try to apologise but she cuts me off.

 

"It's fine" she speaks looking down, "I think I should go now, thanks for inviting me."

 

"Stay" I know all I did was throw the bloody papers but I know it reminds her of the old me.

 

_He wasn't me, he was just inside me. But I felt it...the pleasure..._

 

She bluntly ignores me and begins to walk past towards the door but I stop her by grabbing her arm.

 

"Please" I plead, "I'm still me, I promise."

 

She stays still for a moment before throwing her arms around me and burying her head into my neck. "I miss you" she sniffles.

 

Is she crying? Why?

 

I wrap my arms around her small figure immediately, I love this feeling. "Hey it's okay, I'm here." In reality I know she's only been gone for over two weeks but I know this has a much deeper meaning.

 

She's been distant lately, not coming to pack meetings, not speaking out as much, ignoring our calls, ignoring my calls but most of all she's been avoiding me. It hurts I'll admit and it's got to me, which probably explains my lash out a few moments ago. I'm just so sick of her pretending, pretending she's fine when I know well fucking fine she isn't. I have absolutely no idea when it started, maybe after Eichen? I don't know though, I feel like it was before that.

 

"Lyds?"

 

"Yeah?" She croaks.

 

"Why do you seem to hate me? Have I done something? Please...just tell me" I speak, my voice muffled from leaning on her head.

 

From my words she tightens her grip on me and lefts out a breathless humerus chuckle. "Hate you Stiles? What the hell? I couldn't hate you even if I tried, I'm just so sick of-"

 

"Pretending?" I cut her off. I smile slightly from her words knowing she still can't see me.

 

I feel her shake her head slightly, "I'm not-"

 

"Yes you are." I cut in again trying to get some fire out of her, and by my guess it worked when I hear her huff.

 

She releases me and looks at me curiously before frowning. "Stop playing with me"

 

"Me?" I mock jokingly and place my hand on my heart, "I would never!"

 

"Oh really?" She taunts

 

"Yes really, you haven't seen me play yet" I smirk

 

In response she raises her perfectly manicured brow at me, "Stiles, shut the fuck up"

 

** Lydia's POV. **

 

As soon as I let those words leave my mouth Stiles' face drops and he looks expressionless, I have no idea what he's thinking.

 

Just as I'm thinking about returning to the others, he suddenly places his slender fingers on my hips and pulls me forward slightly, his thumbs then start to rub soft gentle circles causing goosebumps to appear all over my body. I try to speak but nothing comes out.

 

He leans down so I can feel his hot breath on my neck before moving up slightly, his mouth now on my ear.

 

I can hear the smirk in his voice as he speaks;

 

"No"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you liked the chapter :) xx


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